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Cancer: A Different Kind of Survivor's Story

On May 25, 2001, Doug Rae of North Vancouver, British Columbia lost his wife Judy to cancer when she was only 61-years-old. What follows is an interview that occurred just over one year later. Hopefully it will provide a point of contact and inspiration to readers who are currently going through similar circumstances.

Kevin: Describe your initial reaction to the news that Judy had cancer. 

Doug: Surprise! The cancer was minute, undetected on an earlier mammogram. As chemotherapy started and the 'news' spread, we met many cancer survivors. We were upbeat about it, joking that Judy had only 30 more years to live.

K: How did your attitude towards Judy’s illness change once you learned the cancer was terminal?
D: Judy never did experience a time of remission. It went right from the breast, to the lymph nodes, to the chest cavity and then to the liver. When we realized the seriousness of it, we took a two-week holiday with friends in Hawaii. I phoned our children to let them know that the next time they saw us, Mom would be in a wheelchair. Immediately upon our return, an emergency CAT scan revealed multiple metastases in the brain. Our oncologist's report of March 19, 2001, concluded with, 'Sadly, this is indeed the beginning of the end.'

K: What were some of the main issues you faced during her illness?
D: A sudden change in priorities. Hospital and doctor visits, chemotherapy, surgery and radiation became the focal point of our planning instead of entertaining, overseas mission trips or home-based Bible discussion groups.

K: How did the illness impact your marriage?
D: When eternity is being faced realistically, trivialities become just that, and the real issues of life and death - and eternal life to follow - become the central focus. We were drawn much closer together during these times and we really began to understand the meaning of unconditional love.

K: How did the illness impact your family?
D: Very deeply. We are a close-knit family that has always, and still does, take significant holidays together. Judy, with her infectious personality and generosity, was clearly a strong bonding agent among us.

K: What were your main struggles during this time?
D: I believe Judy struggled the most. She loved to serve the Lord, her family and her friends.  As her steadily increasing weakness took away her gift of hospitality, it was difficult for her to become the one being served. For me, the biggest difficulty was a feeling of helplessness. My family, friends and I regularly prayed for Judy’s healing, but it was God's plan to take his special treasure home to heaven. While we were certainly disappointed with God's timing and would wish that she were still with us, nonetheless, we know that 'All things work together for good to those who love God' (Romans 8:28).

K: What were some of your joys?
D: Judy was very gifted in creating fabric folk art, and the Lord enabled her to do this until just over a week before her "home-going." We also enjoyed reading the Bible together, especially treasuring many of God's eternal promises like: 'For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us’ (Romans 8:18).

K: Did you experience any regrets?
D: Although we both thought we were Christians when we married, neither one of us knew Christ personally as our Lord and Saviour. I came to trust in Jesus the year we married and Judy became a Christian fifteen years later. The most serious 'regret' we have is that her older brother has never declared his personal faith in Jesus. A holiday in the Maritimes is also something that we had to delay - permanently. Instead, Judy has gone on an eternal universe adventure tour.

K: How did Judy’s illness impact your faith?
D: Her illness took us to our knees in prayer, with the result that our faith grew stronger.  Although it was the Lord's will not to heal her, she was joyful and victorious to the finish, filled to overflowing with his supernatural peace and love, knowing in her heart that 'the best was yet to come.' The radiant reality on her face spoke volumes as her faith blossomed in the deep valley, which truly strengthened the faith of all she met, especially as she finished her race and kept the faith.

K: What was the most important thing that got you through this experience?
D: Our total trust in the finished and perfect work of our Lord Jesus is the essential ingredient to overcoming life's last enemy, death. For the believer, death is swallowed up in victory. We all miss Judy, but she is now in glory, fully cured and we shall see her again.

K: What advice can you give to others who are currently going through this process?
D: First: Be certain you have a living, vital, personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.  Do not substitute religion, good works or church traditions, which are all centred in man. True Christian faith trusts in what Christ has done for us, not what we do for him. Second: Read God's Word, the Bible, and be doers of His word, not just hearers who end up fooling themselves. When His word is a living reality in one's life, His Spirit will sustain anyone through whatever trials He may allow.

Related Reading:
Cancer without fear
Experience Holy Spirit living
Need advice? Ask us.

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Kevin Miller is a freelance writer, editor and educator from Abbotsford, BC. Over the past several years, he has written, co-written and contributed to 26 books, both fiction and non-fiction. Recent titles include KidDictionary, Soul Retreats for Students and The World's Easiest Pocket Guide to Buying Your First Home. He has also written dozens of articles for websites, magazines and newspapers, including Faith Today, BC Christian News and Maranatha News. Learn more about Kevin by clicking here to visit his website.