Email

Bookmark

Print

Bill and Dorothy Went for the Gold!

Bill and Dorothy were married in a “double wedding” ceremony in a small church on the Prairies (Canada).

It was late spring and the wind was warm as the two brides stepped from the Ford coupe in the dusty parking lot. The old pump organ played the familiar Wedding March as they were escorted down the aisle to stand beside their handsome young “husbands to be.”

Both bridegrooms wore formal white sport coats and black bowties for the occasion. Of course the boys were nervous. Neither of them had ever been dressed up this fancy before. What if they made a mistake during their vows and said something dumb? (every man’s secret fear!)

The brides looked so very young and innocent. They were just farm girls in their late teens wearing magnificent white wedding gowns. Their wedding dresses were a “once in a lifetime” creation, hand sewn by the best seamstress in their family. They would be cherished and preserved forever.

Did These Four Young People Know What They Were Getting Into?
Did these four young people know what they were getting into? In a few minutes they were going to be responsible for another person for the rest of their lives. Could an eighteen-year-old really understand the responsibility they were accepting?

The minister wore black and spoke slowly but firmly about the commitment they were making. He reminded them that their promises to each other were for life and they believed him. He used phrases like, “till death do you part” and they agreed to uphold their vows in front of their family and friends that packed that little wooden church.

Bill and Dorothy had received no marriage counseling before their wedding. Their local library offered no self-help books on establishing meaningful life-long relationships between husbands and wives. How were they every going to make it? What chance did they really have?

Powerful Role Models
They may not have been offered any pre-marriage training, but they did have powerful examples of successful marriages right in their own families. Parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles…not perfect marriages, but couples that stuck together, honored and respected each other during the good times and also when disaster and disappointment struck.

Agnes Brown (Dorothy’s aunt) recalled some valuable advice that her grandmother had been given on her wedding day back in 1895. She asked if Dorothy would please continue to pass it on to future generations at their weddings. Here’s the marriage tip that had proven effective for decades:

If you want your relationship to last, never go to sleep angry at each other. Promise your spouse that you will resolve things the same day. Always kiss your partner goodnight and you will start the next day with a refreshed commitment to your marriage.

All too soon the wedding celebration was over and it was time to start their new life together. Bill and Dorothy McLaren drove our of the church yard in Uncle Harold’s ’49 Ford that he had graciously donated for their honeymoon trip to Saskatoon. Within five days they were back on Bill’s father’s farm and had settled into the cottage that would be their home for the next few years.

Where are They Now?
Five decades have passed. This spring, Bill and Dorothy’s family organized a 50th anniversary celebration for their mom and dad. The hall was packed with friends and family and the memories were sweet as one after another they got up and paid tribute to this remarkable couple.

They certainly deserved to celebrate! Over the period of 50 years, they have built a legacy that can’t be measured in material possessions but rather by the lives that have been touched through their union.

Everyone in the room recognized their dedication and commitment to each other after all these years and the younger folks were surprised that there was still some fire in their kisses! Jessica, a granddaughter, commented that she hoped she could find a good man like her grandpa – just with a bit more hair. She wants to have a marriage just like theirs. She just doesn’t want to start out with no money, like they did. (Sound familiar?)

Encouraging Words
Tim, their oldest son, finished the evening off with comments that compared their 50 years of marriage to an Olympic event:

“Athletes train all their lives to compete for the Gold. They discipline themselves, they endure, they persevere and they never think of quitting. They know their weaknesses and work endlessly to correct their faults. These athletes are society’s heroes.”

“But who are the real heroes in our society? I believe that folks like you, mom and dad, are even more valuable that Olympic golf medal athletes. As your family, we want to honor you on this day of very special achievement. We are proud of the strength and determination that carried you through the hard years. We are proud of all that you are! The success that I will achieve in my marriage will probably come from watching your example.”

“Consider your golden wedding celebration your gold medal mom and dad! In our opinion, you have “maximized” your marriage and many future generations will be blessed because of you.”

© Allen Unrau

Related Reading:
A marriage beyond expectations
Live a Life of purpose
Need advice? Ask us.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Allen Unrau writes a weekly column relating to "reallife" seniors issues in Abbotsford BC. He is actively involved as a volunteer with numerous seniors' organizations in the Fraser Valley. He is a grandfather of eight and works as a licensed realtor specializing in seniors Real Estate...helping seniors and their families with the purchase or sale of homes in the Fraser Valley.