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by Tom Lehman
My disappointment was intense as I watched my shot disappear into the bunker on the last hole, and with it, my chances of winning the 1994 Masters. But that was only the beginning of my disappointments. For the next two years I failed to win the US Open, finishing in second place each time. I was struggling with self doubt and I dreaded to hear what I knew my critics would say: that I could never win the big one.
These feelings of self doubt were not new to me. When I was 15 years old, our football team won the state championship. I was third-string quarterback so I just sat on the bench the whole time watching the other guys play. I didn't play a down all year.
When we got back to town, we had a big parade then went back to the school gym to have a pep rally. Everyone was so excited. They had a big band playing and everybody was hugging and 'high fiving.' But I remember just sitting there and feeling completely isolated, because I didn't really help the team win the championship. I felt like I was a failure. I just wasn't good enough. You get that a lot in sports. That sense of 'you're only as good as your last performance.'
As I sat there in the gym, the feeling of 'I don't matter' was so overwhelming that I could hardly stand it. I had tried my hardest. I had tried to be good for my parents, good for my team, good for my friends, good for God. With each failure, I just felt worse and worse. That led to some introspection on my part, which wasn't at all normal for me at the time. I thought, "What is it that gives life meaning? Why am I here? Why am I so miserable?"
As luck would have it, my coach was a Christian and he invited me out to a meeting of some Christian athletes. For the first time I heard people talking about God and the unconditional love He has for us - the unconditional acceptance He has for us. I thought that was exactly what I was looking for. I wanted to feel that I was loved, that I was valued despite my failures. With God, I suddenly realized that I did matter. I mattered enough to God that he died for me. That was an incredible thought. It choked me up, and it made me realize that I was important.
Right then I asked God to come into my life. And I've never had a feeling like that since. The feeling of guilt on my shoulders just disappeared. Tears of joy flowed out of my eyes. I felt peace and contentment like I had never known.
Shortly after I lost the two US Opens, I won the British Open and the PGA Tour Championship. I was even ranked the best player in the world. But after all the celebrations, I was the same person with the same problems. You think victory will change your life, that life's going to be better because you won a golf tournament. But when things are all over, you still get mad at your wife, still resent your parents and you even have new problems from all the sudden notoriety.
The Bible says that all men are like grass and their glory like the flowers of the field. The grass withers and the flowers fade. I found this to be true in my life. Victory is great, but it is ultimately empty. Even the thrill of winning the British Open fades.
So what does last? My relationship with God and with others. They are what gives life meaning. Regardless of what anyone says about me or how I feel about myself, my wife and kids think I'm great. They love me. But more importantly, God loves me and, ultimately, He's the only one who matters.
What about you? Are you wondering what life is all about? Do you, like Tom, feel that something is missing in your life? If so, you can find fulfilment and peace through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
The Bible says (Jesus is speaking): "Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him" (Revelation 3:20).
Receiving Christ involves turning to God from self (repentance) and trusting Christ to come into our lives to forgive us of our sins and to make us what He wants us to be. Just to agree intellectually that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and that He died on the cross for our sins is not enough. Nor is it enough to have an emotional experience. We receive Jesus Christ by faith, as an act of our will.
You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer. Praying is simply talking to God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. Here's a suggested prayer:
Lord Jesus, I want to know You personally. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life to You and ask You to come in as my Savior and Lord. Take control of my life. Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of person You want me to be.
Does this prayer express the desire of your heart? You can pray it right now and Jesus Christ will come into your life, just as He promised.
If you invited Christ into your life, thank God often that He is in your life, that He will never leave you and that you have eternal life. As you learn more about your relationship with God, and how much He loves you, you'll experience life to the fullest.
Used with permission: http://www.powertochange.com