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Meeting My Mom

I was 46 years old when I met my mom.

I always knew I was adopted. My adopted parents were great to me and I never felt the need to find out who my birth parents were.

But this all changed when I got a phone call in winter 2001 from the Children’s Aid Society. The lady on the other line told me she had just gotten off the phone with my birth mother! 

“How was she?” I asked.

“She’s very emotional.”

“Good or bad emotional?”

“Good emotional.”

Getting to know her
I was told my birth mother lived part of the year in Mexico and part of the year in California. She owned a bus. She must be a hippy! I thought. I also found out she’s married but not to my birth father. Her husband is a retired mechanic. She had two other children in 1959 and 1960, but both these children died within a day. I am her only living offspring.

I told the lady from the Children’s Aid Society I had to think about whether I wanted to respond and start communication with this woman who brought me into this world. She told me to take my time and that if I wanted to proceed, I should fill out a consent form and write a letter telling my mother all about me and my life.

I talked to my good friend John about this.

“Bob, I think that you need to go ahead with this more for her than for you. I really think she needs to know about God. She’s been carrying around a ton of guilt over these last 46 years that only God can take care of and help her with.”

He was right.

So I wrote a four-page letter, telling this woman I didn’t know about my life and who I am. I got consent after a few weeks and found out my mother’s name is Donna.

Letting the mother I never knew into my life
“If we open this door, Bob, there’s no closing it,” my wife said to me. But she was willing to open it with me if I wanted to. That evening, I e-mailed Donna a picture of my wife, children and me.

From then on, my birth mother and I continued e-mailing. She told me she was in her third year of nursing when I was conceived. Some of her closest friends in her nursing class knew about me at the time. Her sister also knew about me, but it took Donna ten years to tell her sister. Since then, she hasn’t told a single soul.

After all the e-mailing back and forth, we decided to meet.

The first visit
Donna came to visit my family and me. It was definitely an inexplicable experience, seeing your birth mother after 46 long years. But it was so good. I was so thankful to meet her.

We started to ask her some questions about the past and she started crying.

“Bob, I can’t tell you who your father is. I wasn’t a very good girl in those days and I don’t know which man it was,” she said as she wept.

Later on, when we were sitting in my van, a Christian song, “What Sin?” was playing and I could tell that she was listening to the words very intently.

The song is about a man standing before God. He says to God, “I know you’ll never let me into heaven because of the sin in my life.” And Jesus says, “What sin? I’ve removed it—as far as the east is from the west.”

Donna was weeping through all this.

The next day, we all went to church, Donna and my family.  Donna hadn’t told anyone about her son in 46 years and I was ready to tell a church of 500 people. I got up and announced to the whole congregation that I had met my birth mother. Everyone clapped and cheered after they heard the good news. Donna started to cry.

We asked Donna if she wanted to hear a song. She said yes. Then, out of 150 songs that could have been sung, the singers performed “What Sin?”, the same song Donna heard in the van before.

That Christmas
Christmas of that same year, Donna came to visit again. Gwen, a lady from our church approached her and asked if she wanted to go out for coffee. The two of them went out and had a good conversation.

Donna came back and told me she needed to talk. “Bob, Gwen asked me if I was a Christian. I’ve been to church, but I don’t have the answer to that.”

“Jesus loves you very much,” I told her. “You’ve been carrying around a lot of guilt and shame. His desire is to lift that burden and shame. Jesus died on the cross for you to wash away all of this guilt and shame. Would you like him to take the guilt and shame away?”

“More than anything else.”

“All you need to do is ask him to. Tell him you’re sorry. He died on the cross because he loves you. Admit that you believe this and invite him into your life,” I said to her.

She cried and cried. Then she prayed to Jesus and invited him into her life.

“This is why Jesus is the only way, isn’t he?” she said to me after. It was the most profound statement I’ve heard. “I felt something not only happen in my soul, but in my body,” she continued. “Like a 75-pound weight has been lifted from my body. I felt the shame and guilt go away.”

What about you?
Ever felt like you’re carrying a huge weight on your shoulders? Is there something heavy burdening your heart? There are things we dream of doing one day, there are things we wish we could forget. In the Bible, it says that Jesus came to make all things new. What would your life look like if you could start over with a clean slate?

Living with hope
If you are looking for peace, there is a way to balance your life. No one can be perfect, or have a perfect life. But every one of us has the opportunity to experience perfect grace through a personal relationship with God through his Son, Jesus Christ.

You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer. Praying is simply talking to God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as he is with the attitude of your heart. Here's a suggested prayer:

Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life to you and ask you to come in as my Savior and Lord. Take control of my life. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of person you want me to be.

            I have a question I'd like answered first.

~Laurie Wang graduated from the University of Alberta with a B.A. in English and she has a diploma in Journalism. Wang is a regular emcee at various events where she translates politicians' speeches and continues to practice her public speaking skills. As a big fan of hockey, sleep and rare steak, this writer thinks there’s no such thing as too much of the three.