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Part 4 - Date Night With God

A Widow's Journal - Part 4

Part of my job with Campus Crusade for Christ has been to organize marriage conferences for couples.

My ministry report about the Fredericton, NB FamilyLife conference, concluded with the following two paragraphs:

“Saturday night at the conference is always ‘date night’ for couples.

God and I had ours in my hotel room.

Room service delivered my meal, and then I slept for a while on the couch. I awoke suddenly and looked out of my window on the seventh floor to see the end of a beautiful sunset.

The hotel is right on the banks of the wide St. John River. Some stars and the moon were already shining in the still blue and pink sky and the moon was reflected in the totally calm, blue and pink river.

Was it God’s version of a card sent to say ‘I love you’?

I decided that must be the message and that the moon’s reflection in the water was His signature.

Later I started reading Larry Crabb’s book, “Shattered Dreams”.

It made me weep because he so accurately described how God often in our suffering awakens a strong desire in us for nothing more than Himself.

He also talked about worshiping God with our tears… that was a new thought.”

Other people who have experienced loss tell me, "I too experienced God like you are (referring to the time God awoke me one morning by singing to me) but as life went on, it kind of went back to the way things were before."

Some are philosophical about it and think it was meant to be that way (just so they could get through that painful time) others are sad and blame the busyness of life for changing things.

I don't want to lose that closeness as my heart heals.

There must be a way! 

I think God is showing me in my grief what is possible in my relationship with Him, and then asks, "Are you willing to seek me with your whole heart to continue this kind of relationship?"

Someone described it like 'pursuing God with the devotion of a lovesick bride'.

A person who has never been lovesick would not understand that analogy, and maybe someone who has never been overwhelmed with God's love would not recognize the signs of His recurring love messages.

Read Part 5 of Ev's journal - Celebrating God's faithfulness

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