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by Agnes FastDreams, hopes, passions, desires. What if these things are different for you than they are for your spouse? How do we come to terms with the fact that two different people have committed to walk the same road together?
We know that God’s will is for the sanctity of marriage. We know that it is His will for us to stay together as a couple. So how do we come to terms with this dilemma?
Well, the answer must be found in our relationship with our Saviour. It must be found in His presence because it is there that our hearts and attitudes are changed. There will be times when God will call us to lay down our dreams for our spouse; sometimes He will call our spouse to lay down his/her dreams for us. It is a known fact that at the heart of marriage is compromise. But this does not mean that we must always deprive ourselves of what is in our hearts. Compromise can mean simply waiting for a better time in our lives, or it can mean that we have to re-work our schedules, or our finances, but it will almost always mean that we are called into the throne room of God, on our knees, to implore Him for a creative solution to our problem. Don’t give up on your dreams if God has not called you to that. But surrender your heart, your attitude and your will to God, for it is in that surrender that acceptance and peace are finally found.
Why don’t you read Agnes’s story of this journey in her life? Let her story minister to your heart today.
God has given a unique vision to each one of us - a dream that begins in the heart. But it isn’t always easy see our dreams or to see how He will enable us to fulfill them.
I struggled with a stuttering problem from childhood, well into the early years of my marriage. I realized my speech was a huge obstacle in my life, hindering me from participating in all the exciting things I wanted to do. I remember thinking: “God must have missed out on something when I was born. Why was I given a desire to be outgoing and not given the ability to express myself?”
In 1968, I attended the Dale Carnegie Course to develop courage and self confidence. I worked hard to learn self acceptance and to overcome my fear of speaking. I remember my first experience, introducing the special feature at the Christian Women’s Club monthly luncheons. Each session counted as a victory over fear as I learned to step forward in confidence. This was a step of faith - trusting God to give me the opportunity to be involved in areas that earlier I had thought impossible. I learned to see myself in a different way.
Eventually, I attended Fraser Valley College studying Applied and Decorative Arts, specifically Apparel Design. I graduated from the program in 1988 with classmates my children’s age. I established a home business in evening and bridal wear and realized a long-time dream, combining my favourite hobby and work: how ideal!
My husband supported and affirmed me in every way. When he gave up farming and decided to retire, we moved into a larger home to accommodate my growing business. For a short time everyone seemed happy, but slowly I began to notice that to the same degree I was involved in and excited about my work, my husband felt uninvolved and unfulfilled.
For many years, I had dreamed of going on a short-term missions trip with my husband. When an opportunity came to go to Ukraine (his birthplace) I felt sure he would be interested in going. When I realized he was not going to go with me, I asked a widowed friend to join me, all the while thinking, “This is not God’s best for me. It’s His second choice.”
Yet my friend and I joined the team. We shared our testimonies in a door-to-door ministry. We visited with many people and were saddened by the poverty evident all around us.
One day we met a young mother walking barefoot. I thought, “If only I had an extra pair of shoes to give her.” I was wearing my worn, comfortable Easy Spirit running shoes. What a terrific gift, I thought, if only I had a new pair. Would it be possible to send her the shoes? Then a thought hit me: “Why not give her the shoes I’m wearing?” I removed my socks and shoes, handing them to her, saying, “I would like you to have my shoes.” She accepted with much emotion and gratitude, and I was thrilled. There was a spring in my step as my sensitive bare feet walked the short distance on the dry grass to our vehicle. I’ve never experienced anything like it.
God continues to use those worn-out shoes in my life to ask me what I am willing to give up. My shoes, or my rights? Or maybe my perception of what retirement ought to look like?
I needed to learn to see myself the way God saw me in order for Him to begin to fulfill the dreams He had planted in my heart. In the same way, I needed to learn to see others differently. I had to learn to unselfishly trust God to fulfill the dreams of others as well – a giving of unconditional love.
We all need renewal, repentance and faith. It’s about being willing to eliminate the negative. God cannot reveal or fill us with a dream if we’re not willing to give up the stuff crowding our lives. It’s a bit like doing renovations on a house, tearing out the old and bringing in the new.
Since that trip to Ukraine, I have seen God open many new doors in my life - so many new and exciting parts of the dream He had given me so many years before. With each new fear conquered, each time He enables me to step out in faith, I am amazed at the results. I was looking for permanence and guarantees. God gave me the opportunity to live my dreams, and a heart to respond to my husband’s: to sell our house and buy an acreage suitable for retirement farming. It’s not a sacrifice, but God’s opportunity for a full, rich life in retirement.
I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life. I was given life that I might enjoy all things.
”For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” Jeremiah 29:11.
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If you would like to have the courage to live the dream in your heart, ask God to come and give you the strength of his daily prensence, and ask Him to renew your life.
Why not pray this simple prayer and by faith invite Him to fill you with His Spirit:
Dear Father, I need you. I acknowledge that I have sinned against you by directing my own life. I thank you that You have forgiven my sins through Christ's death on the cross for me. I now invite Christ to again take His place on the throne of my life. Fill me with the Holy Spirit as You commanded me to be filled, and as You promised in Your word that You would do if I asked in faith. I pray this in the name of Jesus. As an expression of my faith, I thank You for directing my life and for filling me with the Holy Spirit. Amen.
