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by unknownYou and your teeth don’t sleep together.
You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren’t wearing any.
You wake up looking like your driver’s license picture.
It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
You step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.
Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
Your memory is shorter and complaining lasts longer.
The pharmacist has become your best friend.
The twinkle in your eye is only a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.
It takes twice as long to look half as good.
You get two invitations to go out the same night and you pick the one that gets you home the earliest.
You give up all your bad habits and still don’t feel good.
You confuse having a clear conscience with a bad memory.
Former classmates are so gray, wrinkled, and bald that they don't recognize you.
Everything either dries up or leaks.
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