The Top 12 Hidden Hospital Bill Charges

12. IV bottle deposit in OR, VT, and MA: $3

11. Bill preparation and printing: $30

10. Polysylabbic Obfuscation Redisintermediation: $275

9. Three-second smirk from George Clooney: $8,000

8. Bedpan Refrigeration: $48

7. Unspecified Aroma: $83

6. Upgrade to hourly sponge baths: $197/day

5. Wheelchair Damage Collision Insurance: $39.25

4. Surgeon's Daughter's Preparatory School Tuition, Kaplan SAT Course and DKNY Wardrobe Surcharge: $2,500

3. Psychologist's fees for nursing staff after you put your gown on backwards and went "visiting": $400

2. Donation to the Fund to Rehire Mandy Patinkin: $3,000

And the Number One Hidden Hospital Bill Charge...

1. Lost forceps: $35 - Knowing where the surgeon lost the forceps: Priceless

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