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When Alzheimer's Disease Hits Home

The gray-haired lady can't wait to leave the building to search for her dad. Unless watched, she will walk the streets in an effort to locate her father, who died 30 years ago.

Devastating Disease
Not all cases of Alzheimer's disease look like this, but Alzheimer's is a devastating disease that now claims to be the fourth or fifth leading cause of death for people over age 75.

Symptoms Include...

According to the Diagnostic and Statistics Manual of Mental Disorders, an estimated three percent of the US population over age 65 have Alzheimer's. In the early stages, people may exhibit short term memory lapses. Some may experience changes in personality, with increasing levels of irritable behavior. As the disease progresses, victims might lose mobility and eventually may be unable to speak or move at all. This progressive disease, caused by blockage and tangles of nerve fibers in the brain, generally lasts 8 to 10 years before death occurs.

The Effect...
While no one is certain what creates these changes in the brain's nerve fibers, their effect is certain. Alzheimer's ravages not only the victim, but also spouses, friends and families.

What should you do if you notice progressive memory lapses in yourself or a loved one? Have the person evaluated by a doctor who specializes in the treatment of Alzheimer's disease. Though many reasons other than Alzheimer's disease may account for memory loss, its early diagnosis and treatment may delay some of the most intense symptoms.

What emotions will you likely experience should a loved one be diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease? A person will often go through the various stages of grief: shock, denial, bargaining, anger, and eventually a level of acceptance. If a spouse develops the disease, you may experience hurt and disappointment when he or she doesn't remember you are married.

Dealing With Change
Life for the Alzheimer's patient and their loved ones will never be the same as the disease progresses, bringing a deep sorrow, loss and even anger towards God. No matter what feelings are present, facing them honestly will ultimately serve one better than burying them.

In the first 20 verses of Lamentations 3, Jeremiah pours out his heart about Israel's desperate condition. In the 13 verses that follow, we find him making a decision to look at the truth beyond the pain, focusing on God's nature and the hope He provides. We may be tempted to avoid the first 20 verses and just look on the positive side of things. It's not an either/or choice, though, we need to learn how to grieve deeply and also hold onto God's truth through the most difficult of times.

If you put a loved one with Alzheimer's disease in a facility, will you be abandoning him or her? If you're asking this question, chances are that you are not. As the disease progresses, additional help becomes not only valuable, but necessary. Getting as much information about the disease and living options early, will aid in doing what is best for your loved one.

Michael Kelly Blanchard, whose mother was an Alzheimer's victim, acknowledges the harsh world of Alzheimer's in the lyrics to his song "Mom's A Little Girl Again" (Imagio Dei/Image of God, Goliard, 1997). Yet he also sees it from a side few of us do:

"Mom's a little girl again, talkin' to herself, walkin' with her friends/Some folks say she's at the end/But me, I think it's preschool for heaven."

Related Reading:
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Need advice? Ask us.

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Glenn Lutjens is a licensed marriage and family therapist. Focus Over Fifty, a ministry of Focus on the Family, encourages those at midlife and beyond to embrace their own unique life changes while cherishing all generations. This ministry challenges mature adults to live their lives with biblical purpose and a passion for Jesus Christ.