Still Thankful

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Still Thankful

by Debra Fieguth

October 1992

A father in B.C. learns he has a deadly form of cancer. How is he facing the challenge this Thanksgiving season?

Steve and Rachel Larsen clung to each other in a doctor's office that December day two years ago. They had just received a stunning blow: Steve, only 46, had cancer - and it was a bad strain. "The tumor inside Steve's spinal cord is malignant," the couple heard the specialist intone. "It is high-grade and extremely rare."

For months, Steve has sensed something was wrong. His left arm had lost strength and on a business trip to the States, he had a tough time lifting his suitcases into the car. He had tried to ignore it. After all, Steve was a healthy athletic father, used to enjoying life to the fullest.

Besides working in the administration department at Trinity Western University in Langley, B.C., Steve often led Walk Thru the Bible seminars in North American cities. But he was always sure to care out plenty of time with his wife, Rachel, and two children, Rebecca and Jason.

Now, his life - and the life of his family - was about to change in a major way.

After leaving the doctor's office that gray December morning, Rachel barley remembers driving the two of them home to White Rock. Mentally, she was trying to prepare herself for a talk with their teens.

When she and Steve reported his life-threatening cancer, many tears were shed. Jason protested, "I still need my dad." Rebecca's reaction was more pragmatic: "Who will take me down the aisle when I get married?"

Like the prophet Ezra, Steve had always known "the good hand of God" on his life. Armed with the knowledge that His grace is sufficient for whatever trials life brings, he encouraged his family to experience that grace in a new and vital way.

Storm Clouds

One of Steve's favorite sayings is "When the storms of life come, it's a little late to take swimming lessons." His preparation for this present-day struggle with cancer began with his first instructors - hi parents, Richard and Grace Larsen.

As the eldest of five children growing up in Calgary, Steve learned certain lessons early. "My dad taught me the fear of God, and my mom taught me love for the Word of God." He reflects. " Those two vital elements have shaped my life and helped me weather the challenges."

Steve's first hint of trouble actually came in the spring of 1990. He initially thought he overdid it on the basketball court, but then he couldn't lift his arm while leading a Walk Thru the Bible seminar. "I really knew something was wrong then," he says.

That's when he asked his doctor for tests.

At first, the specialist said he had seen this type of condition come and go. But the symptoms worsened. Finally, the doctor ordered and MRI (magnetic resonance imaging) test. Afterward, Steve carried on with his busy schedule. But one early summer morning, the doctor called him. The test revealed a spinal tumor. "My first thought was, that's major surgery," says Steve.

Rachel was momentarily relieved to hear the diagnosis. Having seen her own father suffer a slow death from amyotrophic lateral sclerosis - commonly known as "Lou Gehrig's Disease" - she feared Steve had the same debilitating condition that attacks the muscles and nerves. But her relief ended when the specialist informed them that the tumor was not on Steve's spinal cord but inside it.

However, there was no reason to believe this tumor was life-threatening, he continued. Nevertheless, he wanted to do surgery as soon as possible to remove the tumor and test it for malignancy.

Climbing A New Hill

Within days, Steve underwent six hours of microsurgery. But the surgeons could not get a clear reading of the tumor. Rachel left the hospital with the news that the doctors were "pretty sure" the tumor was benign.

For a month, everything seemed fine. Then Steve began losing strength in his left arm again. In December, doctors rolled him back into the MRI chamber.

"This time the results were clear," said Rachel. "The tumor had returned, and it was malignant."

Within a week, doctors began aggressive drug and radiation treatments. Steve's extended family gathered in White Rock for a poignant Christmas celebration - one they feared might be their last together.

Through 1991, the radiation treatments stabilized the cancerous growth, but by the summer of 1992, the tumor had developed again. This time, Steve has been painted into a medical corner, since he has already received the maximum amount of radiation. Says Rachel, "medically speaking, there's nothing else they can offer."

As he lives day by day, Steve has come to grips with his situation. "I used to be a Type-A, goal-oriented person," he says. But as he has gradually lost the use of his left arm and much of his ability to walk, Steve's traveling, preaching and sports activities have had to be put aside.

Even though life today is much different from just a few years ago, one thing hasn't changed: his commitment to his family has remained strong. "I'm fortunate, because when this happened, discipline and commitment were already in place. This is definitely a crisis, but it would have been a lot bigger crisis if our family life had not been together. You reap the benefits of those years of effort," says Rachel.

Holding Fast

As Steve deals with a terminal illness, he's found reading, studying, memorizing and meditating on biblical passages to be a significant part of his life. The Book of Job, renowned for its account of one man's suffering, is especially important to Steve, not just for the story of suffering, but for its presentation of God's sovereignty.

"In the first 37 chapters, Job and his friends are struggling with the whys of suffering," Steve points out. "When God gets a chance to speak, He doesn't answer the question. He reminds Job of Who He is.

"I asked why. It's a human question, and it's all right. But you don't want to stay there. God wants us to move on to the Who."

The area where Steve has asked why the most is regarding his family. But despite the stress of dealing with cancer, the four of them have drawn closer since the disease was diagnosed. Jason, now 18 and in his first year of university, has taken over many of the home maintenance chores and is readily available to help his dad up and down the stairs. Rebecca, 21 and in her final year at Trinity, has moved back home so she can help out.

While numerous passages in the Bible characterize Steve's life, on verse in Ezra sums up his desire to share God's Word with others: "For Ezra, had devoted himself to the study and observance of the Law of the Lord, and to teaching its decrees and laws in Israel" (Ezra 7:10). Steve draws strength from the numerous references throughout that book to "the good hand of God," a phrase that has become a favorite as he grows in his relationship with the Lord. Despite Steve's weakened state, he continues to lead Bible studies.

"Our dream is to have a home where people in full-time ministry can come for rest," Rachel explains. She and Steve have been putting together an organization - complete with a board of directors - and are setting up a society to run the home.

A Holiday Approaches

For the Larsens, this Thanksgiving will be a time to reflect on the past and to express gratefulness for God's care. They remember the night when they put down their little pocket calculator after tallying the latest stack of bills. The total was $2,400-a staggering amount for a couple seeing its family income steadily decline. They prayed, reminded one another that God would provide-as He always had-then drifted off to sleep.

An hour later their son answered a knock at the door. A man they knew briefly from church handed him an envelope, then quickly left. When Jason woke his parents, his dad's eyes filled with tears when he emptied the contents: $2,400 in cash.

"Honey," he turned to Rachel, "we're right on schedule."

Over the years, the Larsens' Thanksgivings have combined two traditions-Steve's "turkey and football" extravaganza and Rachel's abundant pies and baked goods. Once is not enough for this dual-nationality family: T o honor Rachel's American roots, they usually celebrate Thanksgiving again in November.

In the midst of suffering, the concept of being thankful has taken on special meaning. Steve and Rachel are thankful for each day together, their extended families, church friends and the larger family of God. "As we approach this Thanksgiving," Rachel says, "we can't help but reflect over the last two years and remember all those practical things people have helped us with."

For instance, the couple has received numerous words of encouragement. Their niece recently counted the cards the family has received from around the country; they numbered 660.

Perhaps that's why Steve says he's never had so much to be thankful for. "In all the experiences of the last couple of years, I've seen expressions of God's love and evidence that He is alive and well."

What's next? When a visitor asked that question, Steve opened his Bible to Psalm 138:8 and read, "The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me." Then he turned philosophical.

"That little 'jelly bean' in my spine has been divinely allowed to be there," he said after much thought. "My life is right on schedule. It's God who writes the last chapter, and the book hasn't been closed on my life just yet."
Since the writing of this article - Steve Larsen passed away and went to be with His Lord.

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