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Mentoring Men...Online

When Brian Bowen of Langley, British Columbia tells people he’s an online mentor for the evangelistic web site 
WomenTodayMagazine.com, he probably gets some funny looks.

First of all, why would a man be mentoring women? And second, how can you mentor someone online?

Good questions, but both can be easily answered
Brian got into online mentoring through his wife Norma, who volunteers as a chat room hostess for WomenTodayMagazine.com and 
ChristianWomenToday.com. She and her fellow hostesses had a problem: men were coming into their online chat rooms and asking some difficult questions.

The fact that men were coming into the chat rooms didn’t exactly break any rules. (The chat rooms may be directed at women, but they’re open to anyone who wants to talk.)

The problem was that Norma and the other hostesses felt that it would be best if men dealt with the uniquely male issues that were being raised.

Enter Brian
He became a Christian sixteen years ago largely due to the influence of Christian mentors in his life, people who, in Brian’s words, “walked the walk” rather than merely talked about their faith.

During his career as a police officer, Brian had also seen and experienced the benefits of mentoring in the police force, both as a young recruit and later on as a senior NCO.

Thus, it’s not surprising that once he began to mature as a Christian, he went on to mentor younger believers himself.

When Brian was approached about responding to some of these men online, he merely saw it as an extension of what he was already doing.

But Brian soon learned that mentoring people online is a lot different than mentoring people “eyeball to eyeball.”
Typically, a chat room hostess will send Brian a question from a male chat room visitor.

The questions deal with everything from theological issues to relational problems.

After deciding whether or not he feels qualified to respond, Brian writes his answer and then sends it off. Surprisingly, he’s only developed an ongoing dialogue with one person as a result of his efforts. But that’s typical for the online community, Brian says.

“You usually have only one or two shots at it. People are in for a quick fix.”

At times, the somewhat sketchy questions and lack of solid response from the men makes Brian wonder if he’s getting through to them. But he simply does his best to answer each question and leaves the rest up to God.

In doing so, Brian often has to resist the compulsion to try and answer everything at once.

But Brian knows it’s better to give people at least some of what they’re looking for rather than make them feel dumped on.

Says Brian:

“As I look back on my own search answers, I see that they came in bits and pieces. I didn’t get the big picture all at once.”

That’s what Brian hopes his answers will be - a part of the big picture.

Mentoring
Whether online or in the flesh - is something Brian finds more appealing as he grows older. He feels there is a requirement upon him to become a little wiser, and he keeps asking himself what he is doing to pass on his faith to the next generation.

 “Becoming a Christian later in life as I did makes me feel like I have a lot to catch up on,” says Brian.

Brian knows that there are a number of Christians out there who have been Christians for much longer than he has but have never really made an effort  to pass on their faith.

He encourages them to consider opportunities, such as online mentoring, as a way of multiplying the truth they have received.

“I think I would do this just for my own self-development and confirmation of what a wonderful plan God has for each of us,” Brian says.

“It’s a terrific way to confirm things in your own life. It really stretches your belief system and all those things you hold so dear. It’s one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done.”

Related Reading:
Interactive online studies
Discover the Spirit-Filled life
Need advice? Ask us.

Kevin Miller is a freelance writer, editor and educator from Abbotsford, BC, Canada. Over the past several years, he has written, co-written and contributed to 26 books, both fiction and non-fiction. He has also written dozens of articles for web sites, magazines and newspapers, including Faith Today, BC Christian News and Maranatha News. Learn more about Kevin by clicking here to visit his website.