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No Outsiders in God's Family

Do you Ever Feel Like an Outsider?
Like you’re on the outside looking in at people having a good time together. But you don’t feel invited. Loneliness is your companion.

Fifty years ago, I had an experience so extraordinary that it took me many years before I could speak about it. Still, I share it now for it shows how deeply God is touched by our feelings of loneliness and how much He cares and wants to meet that need.

My Story
I was 15 years old then. Two years before that, in September 1949, my mother and four of us children had immigrated to Canada from Europe. These were the days before ESL classes and we had to learn English the best we could. In a few months, though, I’d picked up enough of the language to begin high school. But I worried, would I fit in?

Besides my broken English, I looked different with my long braids and "funny" clothes. Soon I discovered a difference that was far more serious: I did not understand Canadian culture, not even the jokes my classmates told me. Being shy by nature, I pulled back from my classmates, burying myself in my books. In two years I had not made a single friend.

Gym classes were the worst reminder that I didn’t have what it took. When dance partners or teammates were chosen, the cluster of students around me dwindled as one by one names were called. I knew, of course, why I wouldn’t be chosen. I didn’t know how to shoot a basket, I didn’t know how to hit a baseball, I was far too clumsy to be graceful in dancing; I’d be a liability to any team or partner. I wanted to run and hide - I wished the floor would open and mercifully close over me. I wanted to yell, "You don’t have to choose me if you don’t want to." Finally the teacher would give me to a lacking partner or team.

During lunch break I watched two girls talking, heads together. Such longing rose inside me I knew I was going to cry. Oh, to have a friend - just one friend with whom I could talk that way! Hurriedly I left the classroom and hid in the bathroom where I could let the tears fall unnoticed.

Will I Ever Belong?
Day after day, the same feeling: will I ever belong? I pushed my way through crowded halls of Lord Tweedsmuir High School feeling desperately alone. After school I rode the yellow school bus home in silence. I could never think of what to say. Half an hour later, I stumbled off the bus and hurried into the old farmhouse. As usual our rented house was empty. Mother, who’d been widowed in World War II, worked up to ten hours in the vegetable fields each day to support herself and us four children. Even my siblings weren’t home. They don’t have trouble making friends, I thought, it’s me. Something’s very wrong with me.

Dropping my books on the kitchen table, I ran into the bedroom, slammed the door shut and fell across the bed. My body, so flat and long and lanky, shook with sobs. I sat up abruptly. Someone else was in the room! I looked around but couldn’t see anybody. Still I could feel a Presence - a love so tangible that I felt hugged. Although I couldn’t see anything, an image burned itself into my mind: a friendly face with smiling eyes that danced..... "You know what? I like you! You’re my special friend."

As I sat there on my bed, the glorious gracious words kept coming:

"I have chosen you. I love you just as you are. I will never leave you nor forsake you."

For a long time I sat there basking in love beyond my imagination, hearing those words of unconditional acceptance. When my family came home they found me humming as I prepared supper.

My Special Friend
The next morning I opened my eyes to find the joyful Presence still filling the room, as though He’d waited for me to wake up so we could start the day together. When I boarded the yellow bus He did too. During class it was as though He were sitting beside me. We did math problems together. We wrote essays together. In gym class He ran alongside me. At the bus stop, He urged me to get a little closer. "Listen to them," He seemed to be saying, "Aren’t they fun?"

For three glorious months Jesus walked with me in this almost tangible way. It was as though He were always smiling at me, a big smile of delight and approval, and it was impossible not to smile at others around me. Surprisingly they reciprocated by offering me their friendship.

Then one dreadful morning I awoke to an empty room. The joyful Presence was gone. I must have done something terrible to drive Him away, I thought. I confessed every sin I could recall and asked God to forgive me also my unknown sins. But the palpable sense of His presence did not return. Heartbroken I opened the Bible to search for the words Jesus had spoken to me almost audibly.

As I read them over and over, it dawned on me that when Jesus says,

"Never will I leave you,"

He means never. His presence is just as real whether I feel it or not. Moreover, His love is real and unchanging, not measured by my moods.

As a shy, clumsy immigrant girl of 15, God let me know in a deeply emotional way that I am accepted not because of merit, but because of His gracious choice. I belong! Then He withdrew the glorious feeling that I might learn to walk by faith. He loved me enough to let me struggle to strengthen the legs of my unsteady faith.

Now when feelings of being an outsider press in upon me - as they sometimes do - I read Jesus’ words of affirmation in the Bible over and over:

"You did not choose me, but I chose you...." (1)

"For He (God) chose us (me) in Him (Christ) before the creation of the world...."

"He predestined us (me) to be adopted...in accordance with His pleasure and will." (2)

God says I belong!

This news is too good to keep to myself. And so I reach out to you. When you know Jesus personally you’re never alone. In His family there are no outsiders.

If you, like Helen, are lonely and would like to experience the friendship of Jesus Christ, you can. Why not ask Him into your heart by praying, by faith, this prayer.

Lord Jesus, I want to know You personally. I need a friend like You. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord. Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Take control of the throne of my life.  Make me the kind of person You want me to be.

If you prayed this prayer today, Christ came into your heart and will never leave you.

~ Helen Grace Lescheid is the author of numerous articles and two books published worldwide: Lead, Kindly Light and Treasure in the Darkness. She resides in Abbotsford, British Columbia, is a retired nurse, mother of five children and grandmother of three.

(1) John 15:16; (2) Ephesians 1:4,5